for arabella paner - sea projection (as part of the languages of my friends)
( highest quality available. please check the settings on the lower right corner of player. )
Abbey’s mother died two years ago after a decade-long battle with a rare disease.
It was her dream to bring her to the sea when she was alive. And once, she had asked me to photograph them together.
We couldn’t do neither, not having the money.
On one of our calls after her mother died, I just saw it in my mind, the photographs she took of her mother, projected on the water.
I’ve been waiting for years, almost pushing her, to say yes. She was hoping for a grant, I was ready to take on another loan.
Just this August, we just did it ourselves. It was so imperfect, three women and a rented projector on a rusty stand, an extension cord that could only let us project the image halfway into the water.
And yet, it was the right process and ritual. That day was only supposed to be a test, studies for a grant application.
But at some point we both stopped talking and just watched the waves and the water erase but then return her mother whole, again and again.
It was her dream to bring her to the sea when she was alive. And once, she had asked me to photograph them together.
We couldn’t do neither, not having the money.
On one of our calls after her mother died, I just saw it in my mind, the photographs she took of her mother, projected on the water.
I’ve been waiting for years, almost pushing her, to say yes. She was hoping for a grant, I was ready to take on another loan.
Just this August, we just did it ourselves. It was so imperfect, three women and a rented projector on a rusty stand, an extension cord that could only let us project the image halfway into the water.
And yet, it was the right process and ritual. That day was only supposed to be a test, studies for a grant application.
But at some point we both stopped talking and just watched the waves and the water erase but then return her mother whole, again and again.
The videos on this page are raw files I shot from the first day we tried to project on the water in Zambales.
The end form of this project is still being developed.
It is Arabella’s work.
We’re still undecided about whether I was the producer, or the curator, or a midwife.
9 October 2025
The end form of this project is still being developed.
It is Arabella’s work.
We’re still undecided about whether I was the producer, or the curator, or a midwife.
9 October 2025
ABOUT ARABELLA PANER
Arabella is a Filipina storyteller working between photography and text, drawn to the intimacy of looking — a practice shaped by the possibilities of both error and chance. Her work moves through memory, care, grief, and transformation, rooted in personal histories and the quiet rituals of daily life.
Her long-term project, I thought I saw a falling star softly land on my shoulder, navigated the layered terrain of motherhood, loss, and the delicate interplay between life and decay.
A decade of caregiving shaped both her eye and her ethic; her practice has become a tender archive of the body and of the invisible acts of devotion that carry us forward. Trained in creative writing, she treats the photograph and the sentence as kin, interested in the poetics of care, the politics of softness, and the unseen labor of emotional endurance.
https://www.instagram.com/arabellapaner/
Arabella is a Filipina storyteller working between photography and text, drawn to the intimacy of looking — a practice shaped by the possibilities of both error and chance. Her work moves through memory, care, grief, and transformation, rooted in personal histories and the quiet rituals of daily life.
Her long-term project, I thought I saw a falling star softly land on my shoulder, navigated the layered terrain of motherhood, loss, and the delicate interplay between life and decay.
A decade of caregiving shaped both her eye and her ethic; her practice has become a tender archive of the body and of the invisible acts of devotion that carry us forward. Trained in creative writing, she treats the photograph and the sentence as kin, interested in the poetics of care, the politics of softness, and the unseen labor of emotional endurance.
https://www.instagram.com/arabellapaner/